The Danger of Denial: Why Pretending You’re Fine Is Keeping You Stuck
- John Young
- Jan 23
- 2 min read
Scripture: Psalm 32:3–5; Jeremiah 17:9; John 8:36
One of the most dangerous habits in church culture isn’t rebellion—it’s pretending.
Church can unintentionally reward denial. If you know when to shout, when to clap, and when to say “Amen,” people assume you’re doing just fine. The louder the praise, the fewer the questions. Performance becomes protection.
But God is not impressed by what we hide—He heals what we reveal.
When Silence Becomes Self-Destruction
David gives us a sobering confession in Psalm 32:“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long” (Psalm 32:3).
Notice what David didn’t say.He didn’t say the sin destroyed him.He didn’t say the mistake ruined him.
He said the silence did.
Silence didn’t preserve his dignity—it poisoned his soul. What he refused to acknowledge began to eat away at him from the inside out. Denial didn’t delay the pain; it intensified it.
Many believers are exhausted not because they’re weak, but because they’re carrying wounds they won’t name.
Denial Is Spiritual Anesthesia
Denial works like anesthesia—it numbs pain just long enough to function, but not long enough to heal. You can still show up. Still serve. Still sing. Still preach. But underneath the activity, something is festering.
Unaddressed pain doesn’t disappear—it multiplies.Ignored grief doesn’t shrink—it hardens.Suppressed truth doesn’t die—it leaks out sideways.
That’s why some people snap over small things. That’s why emotions swing wildly from praise to despair. It’s not inconsistency—it’s untreated injury.
The Deceptive Heart
Jeremiah 17:9 warns us, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” The danger of denial is that it convinces us we’re fine when we’re fractured.
Pride often disguises itself as strength. We tell ourselves:
“I don’t need help.”
“I’ve been through worse.”
“God knows my heart.”
But God knowing your heart doesn’t mean you get to ignore it. Denial doesn’t just lie to others—it lies to you.
Cycles Are Clues
If you find yourself emotionally cycling—strong one day, drained the next; hopeful in the morning, heavy by night—it’s usually a sign that something remains unaddressed.
Cycles reveal unresolved truth.
Jesus said, “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed” (John 8:36). Partial freedom produces partial peace. Surface-level healing creates recurring breakdowns.
Freedom requires truth.Truth requires honesty.Honesty requires courage.
God Heals What You Admit
Psalm 32 doesn’t end in despair. David continues:“I acknowledged my sin to You… and You forgave me” (Psalm 32:5).
Healing didn’t begin when David performed better.It began when he told the truth.
God never asked him to punish himself.He asked him to stop hiding.
And that’s still God’s invitation today.
You don’t have to announce everything publicly—but you do have to stop lying privately.
God can heal what you admit.But He will not heal what you hide.
Reflection
What are you calling strength that is really suppression?
What pain have you dressed up as discipline?
What silence is slowly draining your joy?
Freedom doesn’t start with shouting.It starts with truth.
#HealingTruth #ChristianFreedom #EmotionalHealing #FaithAndMentalHealth #ChurchCulture #SpiritualHonesty
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